We interrupt these messages to bring you this breaking news!
Local complaints of News interruptions are reaching a record high! As news channels get more and more desperate for viewers, they have begun resulting to inserting random news updates during the airing of popular television shows. Viewers are not going to take this sitting down.
"I just want to watch Family Guy without having some pretentious news anchor in my face telling me some tragic story about Zimbabwe" says Chester Grondo, 33, of Forest Hills, North Dakota. "How can I enjoy myself when I'm being forced to know about so many depressing things?"
Looking a recent trends, it does not look like this surge of unwanted information has any intention of stopping. In the past year alone, over 100 shows have been interrupted prematurely. "If this rate continues, we can expect our television shows to be 20% commercials, 20% of the actual show, and 70% News Interuptions!" claims Wally Hotfoe, a scientist we happened to find on the street.
Obviously, this is a distressing situation. We'll be back after these 3 minutes of actual programing to report on even more inane crap!
Ethan:
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